ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
