I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
