hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
