I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
