So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
