thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My feet surprised me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
