im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
