I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
