and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
