In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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