I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
