About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
