My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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