so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
