With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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