This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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