i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
