I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
