So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
