So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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