A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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