well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
