So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
