well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We need to get me chipped asap
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
