I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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