Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
