addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
home. puking in laundry basket.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
