i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
