Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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