I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
