is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
