I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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