If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
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