i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
