last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
