the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
