I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
