i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
