Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
