Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
