she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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