I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
