FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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