Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
