I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
