and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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