I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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