Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
