Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
