don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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