It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
